apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
