i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
