Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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