Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
