Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize