Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
