Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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