READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
