i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
