Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
These tits shall not be calmed
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
