that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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