don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
