my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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