Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
