dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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