I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
