Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
