Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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