So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize