A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
