I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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