How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
