I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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