hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she told me i tasted like america
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
