walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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