The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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