I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
