i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
