He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
