I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
