Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
