i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So apparently I’m into choking now
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
