I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
