There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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