i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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