i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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