I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize