now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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