And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
