he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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