Whod you bang
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
