i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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