Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
