I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
