there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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