It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
