i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
