I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
