Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If I had your ass I would rule the world
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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