Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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