Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
