I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
