i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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