The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
