She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We got so high we made milksteak
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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