I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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