OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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