i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
