sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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