that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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