Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
