My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
