I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
