Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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