a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Randomize