I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize