So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
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