Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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