Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
