She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize