he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
