Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
high people should be assigned attendants
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
