One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
