I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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