YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
