I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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