The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
